Category: oddballs_018

Here’s a funny coincidence: I drew up a rough draft of this piece early one Saturday morning. Later that morning, Jessica suggested that we take Bash to Build-A-Bear Workshop. She had no idea what I was working on. Must be that collective subconscious at play, eh?

In any case, we took Bash. It was his first time there as well as my first time. I was surprised to find out that one could build things other than bears. In a way, I thought that was false advertising. After all, it’s Build-A-BEAR, not Build-A-Whatever. I anticipated various bears; different sizes, styles, breeds, etc. For instance, I thought a kid could build a brown bear or maybe even a grizzly bear. Instead, the bear selection was scant – the bins of hides were filled with other species and fantastical creatures (e.g., unicorns, cartoon characters, dinosaurs, etc.).

Bash surprised us!

Initially, he had his eyes on a dragon/dinosaur. He’s all boy so this was an obvious choice.

But then he found Princess Poppy from the Trolls movies. Trolls and Trolls World Tour are his up there in his favorites list (we haven’t seen Trolls Band Together yet). I thought it was a strange choice – kinda girly. But he seemed to want her so we just went with it.

Ultimately, he wasn’t building a friend, he was building a GIRLfriend. He dressed her, brushed her hair, then sat her in a chair and started talking on a play cell phone. In essence, he was playing as though he was hanging out with his girlfriend. I think he was mimicking me and Jessica. He even found a car and put Princess Poppy in it and drove her around.

As rambunctious as Bash can be at times, he is very gently with his Princess Poppy. He doesn’t play with her as much as he takes care of her. It’s beautiful to see.

One last note: I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how kind and patient the staff at Build-A-Bear was with Bash. They were great! Sure, they tried to upsell everything in sight, but that’s their job. I was impressed!

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Here’s the text for text lovers like you!

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Full disclosure: The questions and comments at hand are completely fictional as of this moment. So… send us questions and comments, will ya?

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Dear Oddballs,

Since you’re a sea monster, is “The Creature From The Black Lagoon” your favorite movie?

Movie Maniac in MT

Dear Movie Maniac,

Contrary to popular belief, no. That movie is so inaccurate. Most sea monsters with gills are saltwater while reptilian monsters are… Ugh! Don’t get me started!

Seamus C. Monster

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Dear Oddballs,

Boots or sneakers or loafers or sandals?

Biped in PA

Dear Biped,

I like those shoes with the toes but I don’t have five toes and they don’t make ones for folks with only two toes on each foot. I can’t pull off cowboy boots… literally! My wet feet get stuck in them! And my last girlfriend said my toes are ugly so I shouldn’t wear sandals. And sneakers make my feet stink… more.

Seamus C. Monster

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Dear Oddballs,

I don’t like wearing neckties. Do you think that will hinder my success?

Neckless in NE

Dear Neckless,

It depends on what you deem “success.” If you want to be a corporate businessman, then maybe. But if you want to be a breakdancer, then no. Choose one but choose wisely.

Seamus C. Monster

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Dear Oddballs,

I’ve heard that college is a waste of time and money. Any thoughts?

Graduating in GA

Dear Graduating,

I went to college and got my degree in Brackish Water Science and Technology. Of course, I’m not working in that industry. Instead, I’m doing this gig for measly pay. For me, it was a waste of time and money. But, if you went into Brackish Water Tech, you could make some serious dough!

Seamus C. Monster

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Send questions and comments to jason.salas1@gmail.com or DM them on Instagram @OddballsZine

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What would you do if you were in solitary confinement? Would you come up with activities? Daydream? Count to a million?

Some people live solitary lives. Every day is just them by themselves doing whatever; hermits and the like. I’ve always wondered if solitary confinement has the same effect on them as it would an average person.

Time alone is a good thing. I like this quote:

“All of humanity’s problems, stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” – Blaise Pascal

Granted, being forced to be alone is a whole different matter. Still, if we can learn to be alone without TVs, computers, radios, books, etc., we may find that it’s not a punishment as much as it’s an opportunity to understand ourselves better.

That said, don’t put me in the hole.

Bash loves cupcakes! And why wouldn’t he? Cupcakes are amazing, especially the fancy ones.

Bash’s favorite is the “Sensational Birthday Cupcake” from H-E-B. Every so often, we get one for him when we’re shopping. We limit his sugar intake so something like this is definitely a treat!

And while I made a comic about a cupcake, I have not had a cupcake for a long time. Not long ago, I had so much pain in my hip that I thought I was going to have to have a hip replacement. Yet, I experimented with excluding certain foods from my diet and sugar was the culprit. I love cupcakes (and all desserts for that matter), but the pleasure is not worth the ensuing pain.

Cupcakes are safe from my ravenous jaws.

Jessica and I tried to watch the live-action remake of “The Little Mermaid” and didn’t make it through the whole thing. Some elements were good, but not enough to keep us engaged. Overall, it seemed like a less fun version than the 2-D cartoon (which, strangely, has a lower audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes).

Speaking of the animated version, my Mom (God rest her soul) was a wonderful woman in so many ways. That said, she was one of those moms who didn’t quite understand the difference between name-brands and knock-offs. I remember her finding a copy of “The Little Mermaid” on VHS and being excited to give it to us. On one hand, we were disappointed that it wasn’t the Disney version. However, I liked it because… well, no seashells. I was young.

I found that version – the whole movie – on YouTube:

I also found this version that looks terrible:

I created this comic while on a business trip for work. Honestly, I don’t know how to categorize it. It’s not quite a gag, not quite a poem… more of a satirical take on local musicians in dog form. I didn’t give it much thought – simply let it flow out of my brain.

The video below was interesting to generate. I took a stock song in TikTok and laid it down on the video. Since I couldn’t hear the song while adding the vocals, I had to sing in silence, attempting to imagine the tempo and tone of the underlying song. It doesn’t line up, of course. I’m not a psychic. But it got the job done.

One more quick note: Jessica told me she likes it when I use my own voice on the videos so I decided to sing it without any voice modulator/filter. And while the voice isn’t my normal voice, it’s my voice… if that makes sense.

It’s no secret what this comic is satirizing. That said, I was a HUGE Garfield fan when I was a kid. I loved everything about that comic strip! I remember having a few of the books as a kid and coloring them with colored pencils. I also remember seeing the book Garfield: His 9 Lives and wanting it but thinking it would be too outlandish to ask my parents to get it for me – it seemed too much of a luxury. Looking back, I should have asked. Who knows? They may have gotten it for me.

There was a cartoon when I was a kid and I thought Bill Murray was the voice of Garfield since it was the same voice as Venkman in the Ghostbusters cartoon. I just found this blog post that helped me understand my confusion. It’s been decades, and I found out now.

I would have no idea what the “Finger Family” is if I didn’t have a kid. Every YouTube kids channel will do their own version of it. There are times when the song haunts my brain.

Here’s the text from the page. Granted, it’s a poem about a potato, but it’s always good to put the text out there if the piece is text-heavy. Granted, it’s only as heavy as a potato…

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I’ve got a potato,
‘Tis nice and bumpy and brown.
It keeps me from being grumpy,
I dug it up from the ground.

I’ve got a potato,
The dimples it’s got are called “eyes.”
And I’m eyeballin’ my potato,
I think I might make me some fries!

I’ve got a potato,
Perhaps I’ll mash it instead.
I’ll pretend he’s Mr. Potatohead,
And smash him until he is dead!

I’ve got a potato.
Don’t got me no Lamborghini,
Don’t got me no marinara,
Don’t got me no linguine.

Potato.

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This page harkens to another Oddballs page, “Señor Cabeza de Papa” (issue #9) as well as this comic I did years ago for one of my zines:

I started this particular piece while waiting for a plane from Dallas to San Antonio. I’m one of those nerds who like to get to the airport early so that I’m not stressed out by long lines at security. An added benefit is that I can get a cup of coffee, sit down, and work on stuff up until it’s time to board. I inked the page once I boarded.

There’s not much to this gag in terms of writing and, as with most of my comics, I didn’t know what would happen when I got to the end. It started out as “Ride the Snake” and I was penciling the curves and loops when I remembered that song from “The Doors” when Jim Morrison – probably in a drug-induced state – starts going on about riding some sort of snake. Since I was drawing and had no gag to speak of, I changed it from a snake to an earthworm. If I stayed with a snake, my brain would have been stuck on The Doors. Also, I didn’t know what Jim Morrison meant by “ride the snake” and I didn’t want to be advocating anything. After all, I don’t recommend following in Morrison’s footsteps… or snake trail, whichever.

In the end, the only gag was literally a gag. Sometimes the mind goes to strange places, right Jim?