Card #40 in the Random Humans series
She can’t stop dancing. Even when there’s no music, she hums a tune and wiggles around a little. If she’s in a grocery store, she’ll bob her head or gyrate her shoulders to the beat. At home, she’ll samba while making dinner. She just can’t stop!
Front of card:
Back of Card:
Card 39# in the Random Humans series
It’s not like the Middle-Aged Man with a Toothy Grin is happy all the time, it’s just that he happens to have a toothy grin that finds its way out more often than not. This makes people think that he’s always happy. This isn’t the case. Sometimes he feels downright dreadful. He just doesn’t look it.
Front of card:
Back of Card:
What makes 80s movies so iconic? Maybe it wasn’t the movies, but the culture that produced them, surrounded them, and consumed them – like a feedback loop. Since then, we’ve only managed to make remakes because the culture has changed so dramatically. That’s my theory.
Here’s a video!
You’ve found yourself at the end of another issue of Oddballs. Que the song “The End” by the Doors. Go on, do it!
Your questions and comments addressed by none other than our resident Odditer…
Full disclosure: The questions and comments at hand are completely fictional as of this moment. So… send us questions and comments, will ya?
Full disclosure: The questions and comments at hand are completely fictional as of this moment. So… send us questions and comments, will ya?
Dear Oddballs,
I’m 23. How long should I wait to have kids? Oh, I’m a guy, BTW.
Bachelor in Beaumont, TX
Dear Bachelor,
As a guy, you’ll have to wait until science comes up with a way for males to carry children in their womb, not unlike the movie “Junior.”
Seamus C. Monster
Dear Oddballs,
Which bird would you be if you were a bird? I think I would be a penguin because of my gait.
Fowl Human in Fayetteville, NC
Dear Fowl Human,
That’s easy. I would be Admiral Richard Bird. That way I could go back to our hallow Earth. They kicked me out of there when, coincidentally, I tried to capture one of the giant penguins to eat. Thems are good eatin’!
Seamus C. Monster
Dear Oddballs,
Sometimes, when I focus intently on one letter on my computer keyboard, the letters on the adjacent keys disappear. When I notice, they magically reappear. What gives?
Side Eyes in Schenectady, NY
Dear Side Eyes,
What you’re experiencing is called “Lazy Brain Eye.” Your brain doesn’t think you need to have that information so it deletes it from your memory cache. I know this because someone said it in the movie “My Ventriloquist Monkey Dummy & Me.” Duh!
Seamus C. Monster
Dear Oddballs,
Since you won’t release issues 1-3, will you make new ones please?
FOMO in Farmington, NM
Dear FOMO,
Maybe. Time will tell.
Seamus C. Monster
Send questions and comments to jason.salas1@gmail.com or DM them on Instagram @OddballsZine
If you like alien stuff, you may like “The Why Files.” It’s one of the best channels on YouTube! Here’s a good one:
Here’s a video!
I’ve heard that it is no longer socially acceptable to use the term “Siamese twins.” Instead, we are to use the term “Conjoined Twins.” I have no problem with that. After all, the country of Siam doesn’t really exist anymore; well, it exists a Thailand, but not as Siam. So, technically, no one could be considered Siamese anymore, regardless of whether they’re a twin, a conjoined twin, or simply a singleton.
Here’s a video!
More quotes from my book “An Odd Life: A Journal to Embrace and Nurture the Oddball Inside of You.” It’s available on Amazon now!
Here’s a video!
You may ask, “Why would an invisible person wear a swimsuit if no one can see them anyway?” That’s a good question and thank you for asking!
Just because a person is invisible, doesn’t mean that they want to walk around naked all the time. Imagine if you were invisible and had to ride the subway nude. How weird would that be? Of course, you couldn’t ride the subway clothed either as that would freak people out. Still, whether a person is visible or invisible, they should be modest in public. Ask yourself: if an invisible person were to be standing next to me right now, would I prefer that they had clothes on or were naked?
Also, just because you’re invisible doesn’t mean you’re invincible. If you were drowning, you’d want the lifeguard to know where you were. Also, you need the snorkel to breathe.
As for that guy on the nudist beach… well, he’s the kind of guy who would be naked whether he was invisible or not.
Here’s a video!
What strikes me as odd with the ugly duckling story is that the ugly duckling turns out to be a swan. What about all those other ugly ducklings that aren’t swans? They’re just ugly ducklings. Where’s the story about the ugly duckling that grows up to be attractive? Or, better yet, how about the ugly duckling that is just ugly and learns to accept that fact and lives a good life regardless?
Maybe that means I just need to write that book. Ugly children need to have a role model.
Here’s a video!
Do you wear jewelry? I wear a wedding ring and a watch. That’s it. As for other stuff, I just don’t get it. I know a lot of people like it, but I can’t seem to wrap my brain around the reason. Here are some other things that people seem to like that don’t make any sense to me:
I could go on but that’s a good list for now.
Here’s a video!
Jason Salas 