Back in 2004, I wrote an article about an automated litter box for my zine “One Lump or Two.” Well, it has been invented! Does that make me a prognosticator? Not really. It was only a matter of time before someone used tech to solve the stinky problem of cat poop. Here it is, the Litter Robot:
Comes at the hefty price of $699. Yikes! Well, I guess that answers the question I pose in my article below.
Enjoy!
New Catbox is the Pick of the Litter
From “One Lump or Two,” Issue 12, May 2004
Some folks may perceive me as anti-feline. This simply is not true. I like cats. I think cats are cute and fun and all that good stuff. What I don’t like are litter boxes. I can’t stand them. Yes, I know that some places have laws against letting your cat go outside unattended. I used to live in a city that had a leash law for cats so I understand the necessity for litter boxes. Still, I just don’t like them.
No matter how much of a cat lover you are, you have to agree with me when I say that litter boxes have an offensive odor that shrouds every mole of airspace within its radius of pungency (for lack of a stinkier word). There’s no escaping the stench! All these cat litter producers tell us over and over again how their product smells fresh and flowery and how it locks in odors with some type of super-clumping action, but in actuality, the stink still powers through.
Right now I have no cat. Perhaps there’s some new “wonder litter” on the market that eliminates this problem once and for all. Who knows? Personally, I think we need to make a better cat box. I’ve seen many of the products out there today that do everything from encapsulating the litter space entirely to ones that sift through the yuk for you. I think we’re ripe for something a little better. I’m thinking of some type of cat box that in not only has encapsulating and self-sifting action, but is also equipped with a vent with a fan (not unlike some of your more modern human bathrooms), as well as a small robot who is programmed to be the a “cat bathroom attendant” in a sense. I’m also flirting with the idea of utilizing nanobots to act as a sort of localized cleaning crew but that idea has some rough edges.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “This all sounds great but how much will this set me back?” To that I ask you, “How much is the peace of mind worth to you? And, furthermore, can you really put a price on your happiness, let alone the happiness of your feline companion?” After a pitch like that, you should have no trouble coughing up the thirty grand for me to start contracting the Sparksmen, Ductsmiths, and double E nerds.
So, cat lovers, this is it. There’s hope on the horizon. No longer will you be a slave to the stink. No longer will you sweat over a hot cat box with your slotted scoop-spatula sifting and searching for soiled, clumpy clots. The winds of change are here and there headed toward a cat box in your house, through a fan, and out a vent. How’s that for a breath of fresh air?
Jason Salas 