I know, I know. Bathroom humor is the lowest form of comedy. It’s not that I set out to make poop jokes, it’s simply what occurred to me at the moment and, if I’m staying true to the soul of Oddballs – to let my creativity flow – then I must include this with the other stuff.
Having said that, I think it’s funny and I don’t mind some bathroom humor every now and again. My brow only goes so high.
Here’s a video!
At the time of writing this piece, I had no melody in my mind. The lyrics simply sat there.
Then I heard of some AI software called Suno. It takes your lyrics and generates a song from them. I gave it a shot. It took a few attempts but it spit out the song I used for the video below. I have to say, I really like it – not because it’s my lyrics, but because the song is catchy. Amazing! And a bit scary.
Here’s a video!
In the past, I’ve drawn these as a comic for Oddballs and then rendered them for the final version. I am now skipping that first step. It saves me time and I doubt you’ll mind. Do you mind?
Here’s a video!
In the past, most people went to the gym to bulk up. I believe that has flipped. Nowadays, most people who go to the gym are there to either lose weight or maintain their slender stature.
I’ve recently learned that the latter is a falsity. Sure, a person can lose weight by working out, but it takes a TON of effort. Working out is good for your health. Lifting weights is good for building and maintaining muscle. But for losing weight? That’s all about diet.
I say this as a person who has believed the lie that working out is good for weight loss. I believed that for 49 years (i.e., up until a few months ago). I’ve battled with my weight for my whole life. Now I monitor my caloric intake and it’s no longer a battle. Sure, it can be a battle to monitor the calories, but that’s easier than going for a five-mile run.
Here’s a video!
Admit it, you’re a conspiracy theorist… at least a little. Everyone is. Now, the term has become an insult these days. Why is that? Hmm… that there is a conspiracy in and of itself!
Here’s a video!
Here’s the text for folks just like you!
AI image created using Midjourney
Barkley R., mayor of Dogtown, IN let us in on a little-known fact about dog politicians (see Iss. #19). “It’s ruff… real RUFF! Ha-ha!” All puns aside, he added, “You don’t have to be an alpha dog, but you have to act like one. At my core, I’m a big softy.”
AI image created using Midjourney
Autumn T. of Missoula, MT felt that our Crunch Vegan Lady with Dreadlocks (Iss. #19) was missing something… a vegetable! Here she is with her favorite meal: a head of lettuce. Good for you, Autumn. Now, excuse me while I go get a burger.
(Note: Each link takes you to all the pages posted from this issue thus far)
Oddballs is satire. The content is fiction and parody. Comics are written and illustrated by Jason Salas. Photographic images are created using Midjourney AI.
Oddballs is a collection of humorous stream-of-consciousness comics to make you laugh, think, or contemplate your very existence. Each comic is created off-the-cuff with very little forethought if any at all. In fact, we pride ourselves on our lack of thinking!
Oddballs is rated “PG-13”, albeit not by any governing body. Its content is appropriate for people aged 13-103.
Send feedback, pictures, questions, comments, etc. to jason.salas1@gmail.com or DM via Instagram @OddballsZine
© 2024 Jason Salas
Here’s the text. Don’t say I never text you!
Seamus C. Monster,
Resident Odditor
I read somewhere that people are feeling more despair these days than at any other time in history. Where did I read that again? Oh, yeah, it was in my journal. I wrote it!
Just because I can’t prove it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. Tell me something: are you feeling more despair these days than before? I know it’s not just me because I talk to my friends and they all feel hopeless and nihilistic!
Note to self: Maybe it’s time to make new friends. Hmm…
Hold your head up! Brighter days are on the horizon! How do I know this? I don’t, but it sounds good, doesn’t it?
An ex-girlfriend of mine told me that my thoughts determine my outcome; good thoughts yield good things, and bad thoughts yield bad things.
She was always so optimistic. Oddly, she got blown to bits by a naval mine. Oh, well. I guess what I’m saying is to think positively. (And stay away from naval mines.)
Anyways… enjoy this issue!
“You’re A-MAZE-ING!” Poster
Life can be a labyrinth of unfavorable emotions. Stab those emotions in the eye with this attractive poster from your friends at Minotaur Motivations!
“LLama Looker” Retro Handheld Game
Finally, this 80’s classic handheld has been re-released! With one level of gameplay at 3.5-bits, you’re sure to have seconds of fun!
Time Machine Boombox
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you went back to the Middle Ages and introduced breakdancing? Well, wonder no more! Go on, do it!
Images were created using Midjourney (AI) and Canva.
I like meta stuff. It’s not always done correctly, but when it’s pulled off in the right way, it’s a lot of fun.
The trick with this cover is to include the finished cover while creating the cover. I have included a video below that shows my process.
Here’s a video!
Back in 2004, I wrote an article about an automated litter box for my zine “One Lump or Two.” Well, it has been invented! Does that make me a prognosticator? Not really. It was only a matter of time before someone used tech to solve the stinky problem of cat poop. Here it is, the Litter Robot:
Comes at the hefty price of $699. Yikes! Well, I guess that answers the question I pose in my article below.
Enjoy!
From “One Lump or Two,” Issue 12, May 2004
Some folks may perceive me as anti-feline. This simply is not true. I like cats. I think cats are cute and fun and all that good stuff. What I don’t like are litter boxes. I can’t stand them. Yes, I know that some places have laws against letting your cat go outside unattended. I used to live in a city that had a leash law for cats so I understand the necessity for litter boxes. Still, I just don’t like them.
No matter how much of a cat lover you are, you have to agree with me when I say that litter boxes have an offensive odor that shrouds every mole of airspace within its radius of pungency (for lack of a stinkier word). There’s no escaping the stench! All these cat litter producers tell us over and over again how their product smells fresh and flowery and how it locks in odors with some type of super-clumping action, but in actuality, the stink still powers through.
Right now I have no cat. Perhaps there’s some new “wonder litter” on the market that eliminates this problem once and for all. Who knows? Personally, I think we need to make a better cat box. I’ve seen many of the products out there today that do everything from encapsulating the litter space entirely to ones that sift through the yuk for you. I think we’re ripe for something a little better. I’m thinking of some type of cat box that in not only has encapsulating and self-sifting action, but is also equipped with a vent with a fan (not unlike some of your more modern human bathrooms), as well as a small robot who is programmed to be the a “cat bathroom attendant” in a sense. I’m also flirting with the idea of utilizing nanobots to act as a sort of localized cleaning crew but that idea has some rough edges.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “This all sounds great but how much will this set me back?” To that I ask you, “How much is the peace of mind worth to you? And, furthermore, can you really put a price on your happiness, let alone the happiness of your feline companion?” After a pitch like that, you should have no trouble coughing up the thirty grand for me to start contracting the Sparksmen, Ductsmiths, and double E nerds.
So, cat lovers, this is it. There’s hope on the horizon. No longer will you be a slave to the stink. No longer will you sweat over a hot cat box with your slotted scoop-spatula sifting and searching for soiled, clumpy clots. The winds of change are here and there headed toward a cat box in your house, through a fan, and out a vent. How’s that for a breath of fresh air?
When was the last time you received a postcard? These days, it’s become rare. Yet, there are some of us old-school folks who still send them… I’m one such old-school dude.
Have you ever heard of Joe Jerrard? He’s a Guinness Book of World Records record holder for selling the most cars in a year. One practice of his that I’ve adopted is sending postcards to people with the note: “I like you.” I send over a hundred a month. I’m not using them to sell anything, per se but I like how it keeps me connected to friends, family, and co-workers.
What I do is send out postcards with quotes on them. The above image is for this month.
It’s actually really easy. I get the quote from BrainyQuote.com and use images found in Canva.com where I also design the card. Then I go to VistaPrint.com and set it up. Easy!
Jason Salas 