Seamus C. Monster,

Resident Odditor

It’s already three months into 2024 and, as they say, time marches on. See what I did there? No? Well, you’re no pun! See what I did there?

Seriously though, this year is speeding along, ain’t it? We’re about 1/4 of the way through it! But…

Did you know that, if you were a mouse and you were born on January 1st, you would be about 1/4 of your way through your ENTIRE LIFETIME??? Mice live for about 12 – 18 months, according to Google.

If the average human lives to be about 75 years old, 1/4 of that is roughly 18 years old. If you were the aforementioned mouse, you would be graduating from mouse high school right about now.

Are you ready for college, mouse? After all, you’re such an adult now! All independent and whatnot.

Of course, around June you’ll have a mid-life crisis, so you have that to look forward to. Sorry mouse.

Anyways… enjoy this issue!

Original Movie Poster for the Foreign Film “Momoikbe Ponomece Penoneky Memnce”

While many love the blockbuster hit“My Ventriloquist Monkey Dummy & Me,” some purists (like myself) feel that the original Gibbernese version is superior. This vintage poster captures all the intrigue and charm of that classic masterpiece!

Release-Your-Inner-Beast Leash

Sometimes you just have to release your inner beast. This attractive leash helps you keep it under control. Great for meeting women in the park!

Corporate Office Battle Spear

Great for office meetings. Helps your rambling co-workers get to the point… literally!