Here’s the text for those of you who want/need it… for whatever reason. You have your reasons.
If you can dream it, you can dream it!
Seamus C. Monster,
Resident Odditor
Happy New Year!
Get ready to hear all the best New Year hits around the water cooler:
- “Can you believe it’s already 2024?!”
- “It felt like just yesterday it turned 2023, now here we are!”
- “My New Year’s resolution is to lose weight! This is the year!”
Sound familiar? If you’re not saying any of the above comments, someone near you probably is.
New Year’s Delusions!
Basically, I envision myself as an influential and popular billionaire whom everyone reveres and wants to interview on their podcast.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll get my fins on a VR headset and immerse myself in the fantasy!
It’s not a goal, it’s a daydream. It’s my philosophy of “Fake it ‘till you go to sleep!”
Anyways… enjoy this issue!
Odditor’s Picks
Squirrel House
Nearly 99.999% of squirrels are homeless; they simply live wherever they can hang their hat.* With this Squirrel House, your chittering friend will finally have a place to rest his weary squirrel bones!
*99.999% of squirrels don’t have a hat either
C.L.A.W.S
(Cat-Like AI Without a Soul)
Sometimes cats can get all cuddly and cute. Blech! With C.L.A.W.S. You only get anger and spite! It puts the “OW” in “MEOW!”
Quantum Entanglement Disco Suit
At last, quantum physicists have discovered an alternative universe where disco is still popular!
They were only able to fit 37 of these groovy garments through their quantum portal so supplies are scientifically scarce!
Jason Salas 