Bark & Grill: Future Headache

When I was a kid, there were times when I was sentenced to a timeout. I preferred a spanking because, while it was painful, it was short-lived. Timeouts drove me crazy because it was a waste of time.

In any case, my mom would usually give me five minutes to “sit and think about what I had done.” I never thought about what I had done but, instead, would count the seconds until I could get back to doing stuff.

It was during one such timeout when I figured that each second, by nature, has one second in between. One on, one off if you will. (Some of you probably know where I’m going with this because you did the same thing.) I reasoned that, if there are, in essence, two seconds for each second, time could fold in on its own gaps and that two and a half minutes would equal five minutes.

When I got up after two and a half minutes, my mom asked, “What are you doing? Five minutes isn’t up.” I explained to her my logic. She dismissed me, of course, and I went back to the corner for another two and a half minutes.

Time travel is thought to be less about traveling through time but in finding a way to access any of the infinite “now” moments that exist in the eternal now. That’s all theoretical, but fun to think about.

If I was smart as a kid in the corner, I would have used the two proven time travel techniques: 1. sleeping and, 2. distraction. Both create a time warp of sorts where time passes quicker than realized.

Of course, thinking about it all can give one a headache. That’s why we need that future headache medicine.

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